?????
You know, I'd like to be able to put in an interesting post that others could read and say "Wow, I really like where she's coming from and how she thinks" but I sometimes don't feel I really have anything to say that would be of much interest to anyone else. I go through the turmoil known as life like everyone else without so much as a how to do from many and hope that somewhere along the way someone will take an interest in my ramblings. I don't know - I'm estranged from my siblings, and my mother, their choice, not mine, so I don't know if it's me, or I'm just the odd duck in the bunch; the "sane" one. Could it be that having grown up in a setting of self destruction that I don't know when I've encountered someone that is actually a positive influence? Would I know a good thing if it bit me on the ass, so to speak? Do any of you relate to my preconceived notions of worthlessness? I don't even know if I could actually handle someone answering any of these questions because, based on my past, I don't know that I could trust anyone.
Does any of this make sense? When would I know if it did?
Does any of this make sense? When would I know if it did?
posted by Mystica at 1:46 AM
1 Comments:
Oh where oh where do I begin? I'm not going to tell you what to do. I have enough trouble telling myself what to do. But I do have a couple of suggestions, things I've learned just recently.
1. Change your focus away from writing something of interest to others and simply write about yourself and your own interests - your daily life, your kids, your opinions, your rants, your hopes and dreams, your fears and struggles, things you've learned. It's the writing of it not the reading of it that will surprise the hell out of you.
2. Everyone has to learn the "how to do" of living a good life or simply get through life. Some learn as children and others don't even begin until late in life. If your parents didn't teach you then you must teach yourself or die trying.
3. Your question about feelings of worthlessness is a good one. I could write a whole post on this and maybe I just will. For now all I can do is repeat myself. You learned how to feel worthless early in childhood. It doesn't really matter what took place between then and now. The good thing is now you can learn or teach yourself how to shoo away that feeling. It takes practice. The key is not to look outward for it. You must look inward and find your special qualities. Work on what you think of yourself, not what others think of you. Forget them for now if you can.
4. Distrust of others is my number one bugaboo. You take a risk opening up your life for others to read about. Most people are exceptionally supportive when they leave a comment. The ones who push a button or hit a nerve, even by accident, are what I call my shadow people. They change with each post just like real shadows. My point is, those are the comments to pay attention to. Sometimes they seem to be so far off base that you can't believe it but the question is why does their comment bother you. Every single person you come in contact with, whether in real life or in blogland, has something to teach you. When it becomes overwhelming take a break from it and give your stew time to simmer.
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